so I tried what pbaldy said

Private Sub Form_AfterUpdate()
Me.lstMH.Requery


End Sub

and that worked after I selected a new item in the list box, but I would prefer if it worked after I updated the name in the text box. I tried to put the requery on the AfterUpdate for the text box but that didnt work.

Another problem is if I click the record navigator buttons at the bottom of the form to go to the next record, even with the requery the list box doesnt update what it has selected. I tried
Forms("MHForm").lstMH.Selected(Forms!MHForm.lstMH. ListIndex) = True
but that didnt work either. Any help would be appreciated.