How do you set up Access on your work machines

[turbofish]

I'm getting a bit frustrated with Access. I have set up a number of different machines using Windows 7, 8, 10, on a domain, off a domain, laptops [3 so far], desktops [4 at this point] but all Access does for me is crash. On my last build that I did on my laptop, I made sure that I installed Office last after SQL server and VS 2015/2017 but I still have the same results. Fire up a wizard will be instant crash. Download a template from Microsoft and it won't even give me an error message - just crash. I did noticed that on my new laptop I am able to import data [once] before it will crash but it is guaranteed to crash if I look at it funny. It doesn't matter what the hardware is. My desktop at home runs an AMD ryzen 1700X and all of my laptops have been Intel i7 as well as my work desktop. The last time I've been able to use Access regularly was Office 2010. Currently running the latest version of Office 2016/365



How do you all set up a new machine with Access?
Do you all use SQL server on the same box? If so, is it the full install with SSIS, SSAS, SSRS? This has happened to me with SQL 2012, 2016. Can't remember it being an issue with SQL 7 -2008R2
How about Visual Studio? If so which version? I've been known to have 2008-2017 on the same box.
What other software do you run on the same box?

All of my machines are set up with SQL first in mind since my job is working on large* databases in both OLTP [relational] and OLAP [Cubes/Warehouse]. My desktop has 6 drives, half are SSD and 48 GB of ram. My newest laptop has 32 GB of ram and two hard drives but it will crash just the same.

On my wife's laptop and work desktop, I can use Access without any issues at all but she won't let me install SQL server on any of her machines to test my theory no matter how often I ask. I even offered extra back rubs, more time driving my convertible and tried my famous puppy dog eyes.

I'm thinking that since this has happened to me on install after install, it has to be something that doesn't play well with my other tools.

*The concept of large databases is a moving target. I use to think of a 1 GB database and a hundred thousand rows as being huge. Now that is almost cute. For a weekend project, I imported a trillion rows into a database. For fun. It's a sickness. Most of the time my data that I work with is around 600 GB and 1 TB

[pbaldy]

Gee, you tell her that your machines are all broken so you want to test on her perfectly good machines and she says no?!? That's so selfish.

Personally I've never installed SQL Server on a client computer, only on servers. I install the native client on all the desktops. I just remote to servers to manage them, so I don't have SSMS on my computers either.

I don't think I've got VS and Office on the same computer either. i have them on separate VMs.

I guess I wasn't the best person to answer, but I got a kick out of the puppy dog eyes not working. They always work for me.

[isladogs]

to both the original question & Paul's answer!

I suppose sitting & watching whilst importing a trillion records (10^12) keeps you out of trouble
If you want some 'real excitement' in your life, I would recommend watching paint dry....

For info, I have SSMS 2014 on two home PCs as local installations for use with A2010 32-bit & A2016 64-bit
Both work fine & are completely stable (no crashes)

[turbofish]

Update:
I remembered that when my wifey was out of town a week ago, I got bored and reformatted my HP Envy after deeming it unworthy of handling an SQL server on its own. It still makes a great laptop for remoting into work or my desktop at home and has a battery life that is 5-6 hours instead of 45-60 minutes like my new beastly laptop. The new laptop sounds pretty much like a full 5u server when all of the fans are kicked in. And you know what?
It works.

Looks like my wife's laptop is safe from me doing things to it besides updating [geek husbandly duties] but that still leaves the question of why Microsoft hasn't thought about testing the two together. Once I asked Microsoft directly and they suggested that I uninstall SQL. I have installed SQL server at least a thousand times* but it requires someone with truly magical fingers to uninstall it. SQL server leaves bits everywhere.

Not an exaggeration. I used to teach in college SQL/SharePoint, [bunch of other things too]... and would install it over and over again until I finally got tired and made sure that all of my students had a virtual environment set up

[turbofish]

to both the original question & Paul's answer!

I suppose sitting & watching whilst importing a trillion records (10^12) keeps you out of trouble
If you want some 'real excitement' in your life, I would recommend watching paint dry....

It was for the Gaia spacecraft project. They made all of the data available to download and at the time it seemed like a good idea. Each file was just at 50 MB and there were over 5000 files. I just set up an SSIS package to loop through all of the files and import them one at a time into my database that I created for it. It took 8 hours. After I was done, I didn't have a clue what to do with the data so I backed it up and deleted the database.
I need a better hobby.

[isladogs]

Amazed it didn't crash SQL Server!
On a much smaller scale, I tried adding an autonumber field to a table of 2.6 million records in an Access BE
That caused Access to crash repeatedly.
I had to do it another way. Copy the table structure to an empty table, add the autonumber field then append the data to the new table

Too late now but I wonder how long it would have taken to search for a specific record from a trillion records

[turbofish]

SQL server is really robust. Out of all of the SQL servers that I have had under my control, the only crashed servers were due to power outages or hardware failure. I guess now I have a new use for my little underpowered [only 8 GB of ram?!] Envy besides watching shows and documentaries while the remote to the TV is logged firmly in my wife's hands. Last time I used the TV to watch bicycle racing, my wife had to teach me how to use the remote...
Behold, the new Access machine, the HP Envy

[isladogs]

I still only have 4GB RAM

[ssanfu]

I still only have 4GB RAM

Same here. Optiplex 780 max RAM = 4GB (3.582 available)

I now have a bad case of RAM envy!

[isladogs]

EWE have RAM envy?

[ssanfu]

You're kidding me, right?

Very punny!

[turbofish]

In that case, I'm not going to tell you how much ram I have in my phone...

[isladogs]

Baaaa ... I mean bah!
I'm gambolling you were fleeced if it has that much RAM

[ssanfu]

I'll bet you feel pretty sheepish right about now.....