If I get it, I think you'll need to UNION two queries. The first gets the days greater than zero where the Parent and Item number are the same. In the second, for each Parent, get the days greater than zero where the Child and Item numbers are the same. In both cases, the two tables would be inner joined on Item number = Child. If you don't know UNION queries, check them out as there are a few limitations. You might notice a speed increase if you use DISTINCT on the two select query statements and UNION ALL for the query that puts them together.
The more we hear silence, the more we begin to think about our value in this universe.
Paraphrase of Professor Brian Cox.