Access Database Question

[Vascillious]

I didn't say you were stupid. I referred to your own words, which I see that I have to explain to you. Basically, I referred to your hostility. I'll leave it to others to infer from your responses if you are anything else as well.

"I referred to your own words"

You mean here.....

"If you are so knowledgable about how long it will take, perhaps you don't need us after all..."

When you referred to what I had written in a tone of sarcasm and ridicule?

Besides the irony of the fact you can't spell "knowledgeable", and the belittling tone which appears to assume I can't possibly know what I'm talking about, I DO know how long it will take. So, you acting as if I couldn't possibly just puts your comment on the pile of useless trivialising rubbish where it belongs. I recommend you revise your carping attitude in future, it doesn't become you and all I have learned from this exchange is, you are an obnoxious toad. This doesn't make you look like the better person, it just makes you look like somebody who doesn't know what they're talking about and only comments to make sniping remarks you are unable to back up with intelligence.

[ssanfu]

I've just been tasked with setting up a database and I don't have the slightest idea how to do it.

What I really want is somebody who is willing and able to talk me through it?

What can you do to help?

What is there to help? You admitted you didn't have any idea of how to design a database. Why didn't you describe what the dB was for - wht the requirements were- what you had already tried?

No. That is not what I want. I want somebody with a moderate amount of Access experience to tutor me through a fairly simple database voluntarily. Preferably through email. It will not take months, it will take about an hour. Don't be ridiculous.

Since you already said you didn't have any idea of how to design a database, why would you think it would only take an hour to "talk you through it"?

<snip>

As to everybody else, well done, you have helped to contribute to the largest percentage of user-hostile unhelpful responses I have yet received on my first attempt at asking a question on a forum.

Yet your only question was "What can you do to help?"

A completed database without your help? Yes, it turns out, I didn't need your help after all.

And, with regards to your impertinent response, to ask for help is not the same thing as pleading stupidity. Obviously I knew something about the project. It's stupid of you to respond as if I had to be completely stupid.

A completed database in under 2 days??? Wow.
Good thing you knew something about the project. We sure didn't - because you never explained anything about the project.

"I referred to your own words"

You mean here.....

"If you are so knowledgable about how long it will take, perhaps you don't need us after all..."

When you referred to what I had written in a tone of sarcasm and ridicule?

A tone of sarcasm and ridicule is the only way you have responded after Post #1.

Besides the irony of the fact you can't spell "knowledgeable", and the belittling tone which appears to assume I can't possibly know what I'm talking about, I DO know how long it will take. So, you acting as if I couldn't possibly just puts your comment on the pile of useless trivialising rubbish where it belongs.

You pointed out a misspelling, so I have to do the same for you: "...useless trivialising rubbish..." - the correct spelling is "trivializing".

I recommend you revise your carping attitude in future, it doesn't become you and all I have learned from this exchange is, you are an obnoxious toad. This doesn't make you look like the better person, it just makes you look like somebody who doesn't know what they're talking about and only comments to make sniping remarks you are unable to back up with intelligence.

This describes you to a "T".
Vascillious - just remember: Pot - kettle, pot - kettle.


I've got that "car wreck" feeling. You know that feeling? Where you know a wreck is going to happen, you don't want to watch, but you have to???
I don't really care about the "2 day completed" dB, but I kinda want to see what it looks like.

[InsuranceGuy]

As a relatively new participant to the forum, I find both sides of this conversation simultaneously entertaining and disappointing. Kudos to all. If only Access could multi-task like that. Cheers.

Jeff

[Homegrownandy]

I think its hilarious how someone can call people they want help from ridiculous; and tell them they are wrong. It will take months at a minimum to get any kind of decent understanding of the concepts of a database. If you don't require as much you probably don't need a database. Excel can probably do it. Access is potentially better (I cant say without knowing what you're even doing).

I'm happy to read this thread, but no ones here to belittle anyone or insult anyone. People are either here to offer help or to get help. If you don't believe you were hostile or insulting perhaps you should chose your words more carefully.

If you want to get some help with any problem with access just ask away. Its important you explain what your needs of the system are so people can offer constructive advice.

This really has put me in the festive spirit.

- obnoxious toad.

[Homegrownandy]

Steve - I think you missed my post where I told him to press new.

I wish my project was so easy, I've been on it about 8 months and I cant see an end yet. Lol

[Vascillious]

ssanfu,


I don't have time to go through your every point one by one and provide an explanation nobody will benefit from, however on the matter of spelling. No, that isn't the correct spelling. Think about it. See if you can work it out without further prompting from me.

[Vascillious]

I think its hilarious how someone can call people they want help from ridiculous; and tell them they are wrong. It will take months at a minimum to get any kind of decent understanding of the concepts of a database. If you don't require as much you probably don't need a database. Excel can probably do it. Access is potentially better (I cant say without knowing what you're even doing).

I'm happy to read this thread, but no ones here to belittle anyone or insult anyone. People are either here to offer help or to get help. If you don't believe you were hostile or insulting perhaps you should chose your words more carefully.

If you want to get some help with any problem with access just ask away. Its important you explain what your needs of the system are so people can offer constructive advice.

This really has put me in the festive spirit.

- obnoxious toad.

It's a funny thing to come back to a forum only to have more ignorant remarks to read.

"I think its hilarious how someone can call people they want help from ridiculous; and tell them they are wrong".

You think it's hilarious I told them they're wrong, about the things they are wrong about? Not my sense of humour.

"It will take months at a minimum to get any kind of decent understanding of the concepts of a database"

It will take who months? It is finished now, as I said, having noticed this is the most unhelpful group I have ever visited. So, you're wrong too.

"If you don't require as much you probably don't need a database".

Wrong. I do. You don't know what you're talking about.

"Excel can probably do it. Access is potentially better (I cant say without knowing what you're even doing)".

Irrelevant, the job Requires a database.

"If you want to get some help with any problem with access just ask away".

I did and all I got, with two notable exceptions, was a battery of unhelpful comments and useless remarks, to which your own comment now belongs.

[Homegrownandy]

"If you don't require as much you probably don't need a database".

 Wrong. I do. You don't know what you're talking about.

correct. that's why we keep asking. If you are done why are you here? You don't need to convince us you know what you're doing. do you want us to believe you and tell you how good you are?

WELL DONE LAD YOU GON DO A DATABASE,

you have asked nothing from what I have seen that anyone can help with. If you tell us what you're trying to achieve I'm still more than happy to try and help where I can. You cant use the argument people don't know what they are talking about when its to do with your project and you don't tell people.

Stop being an idiot and post a question and get help. Win. Its not a hard concept. Or come back and provide us with more entertainment by quoting everything and posting more rubbish.

as for my sense of humour. Its subjective and you are a joke to me. I'm laughing now. Am I wrong? Would you like to advise me on what I should find funny?

I've actually tried to help you get a decent answer. You have to help yourself.

Do you actually want anything now? If so be clear and tell us instead of moaning how it didn't work before.

-obnoxious toad.

[Homegrownandy]

You said at the start of this thread you have no idea what you are doing. When multiple people who have a better idea of data basing are telling you things. Its highly likely they are right.

There may be some discrepancy between your idea of learning data basing concepts and the people who have put a lot of time into it. Its like you saying you know word because you can form a sentence and print it off. If your database is ridiculously simple then sure you can achieve what you want with minimal help. But as its been said countless times. We don't know unless you tell us. If you done what you needed to in a day I'm sure its terrible or pointless. If you would like to prove me wrong feel free, upload a sample of it.

[Mahendra1000]

The most entertaining thread with a sort of miscommunication I have ever seen in any of the forums. This thread made my day!!

shouted out with a high pitch of laugh in my office after reading all the Posts

Vascillious - You can't find a much more better Access Forum other than this.

[Homegrownandy]

Mate stop laughing or he will tell you off!

[Mahendra1000]

Stop being an idiot and post a question and get help. Win. Its not a hard concept. Or come back and provide us with more entertainment by quoting everything and posting more rubbish.

This line can't make me to stop laugh Andy

[Micron]

I've got that "car wreck" feeling. You know that feeling? Where you know a wreck is going to happen, you don't want to watch, but you have to???
I don't really care about the "2 day completed" dB, but I kinda want to see what it looks like.

That would only add more fodder to a thread that went off the rails long ago. Besides, you probably know what they say about an infinite number of monkeys with typewriters. Mine almost got "knowledgeable" correct.

[Vascillious]

Like I said, the task is finished.

Little point to continue returning to do nothing but point out where the stupid assumptions you've made, by which you stupidly think you're the better person, are wrong.

[ssanfu]

Would you do us the honor and post your dB so we can see where we went wrong?

Seriously, I would like to try and learn from your dB. Maybe I am a slow typist.
I can't build a dB in an hour. Maybe a month, at best 2 weeks. So I am happy to learn from anyone...

My process is:
I create the table structure on paper.
Once that is done and it appears the structure will handle the data (table structure is normalized), I start sketching the forms on paper, then sketching the reports. Lastly, I start typing in the dB.