ok I managed to get it to work the way I wanted
I used on the button, several of these:
Code:
ElseIf Me.Frame63 = 1 And Me.Command47.Caption = "Blank Emails" Then
Me.Filter = "[Area] Like '*" & Me.Text36 & "*'" & IIf(Not IsNull(Me.Text38), " and SchoolTypeID=" & Me.Text38, "") & IIf(Not IsNull(Me.txtStates), " and StateID=" & Me.txtStates, "") & "And [1ContactEmail] Is Null"
Me.FilterOn = True
Me.Command47.Caption = "Show All"
ElseIf Me.Frame63 = 1 And Me.Command47.Caption = "Show All" Then
Me.Filter = "[Area] Like '*" & Me.Text36 & "*'" & IIf(Not IsNull(Me.Text38), " and SchoolTypeID=" & Me.Text38, "") & IIf(Not IsNull(Me.txtStates), " and StateID=" & Me.txtStates, "")
Me.Command47.Caption = "Blank Emails"
on the option box I used (several)
Code:
Case 1
Me.txtSchoolEmail.ControlSource = "[1ContactEmail]"
Me.Label29.Caption = "Contact Email"
fieldemailchange = "1ContactEmail"
Me.Label184.Caption = fieldemailchange
Me.Filter = "[Area] Like '*" & Me.Text36 & "*'" & IIf(Not IsNull(Me.Text38), " and SchoolTypeID=" & Me.Text38, "") & IIf(Not IsNull(Me.txtStates), " and StateID=" & Me.txtStates, "")
Me.Command47.Caption = "Blank Emails"
Me.FilterOn = True
it all works 
thanks for your help guys