For ease I have attached 3 pictures that tell the story. Seems like I'm missing something obvious, there's no code or relationships or anything fancy. Access just won't allow the hyperlink control to open a browser for an obviously valid site.
Picture 1) In a Blank Form, I have placed a Hyperlink Control. It is unbound. As you can see it has a BaseURL of simply www.google.com
Picture 2) Switch to Form View. Click on Hyperlink... instead of launching, I am prompted with this warning and click "yes".
Picture 3) This is the result - Unable to proceed.